worst night to have a conscience
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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