Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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