if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
