STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
only you would photoshop your dick
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
my liver is dry heaving
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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