you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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