real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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