I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
