So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I pour the whiskey from now on
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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