im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
