There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
