from now on my penis is your penis
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
