I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
