Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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