tell your sister to shave her snatch
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
