im drinking this country out of the recession.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
