so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
