i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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