Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
