So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just high enough for therapy.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
