Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
