problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
