Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
