How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize