You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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