Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
