Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
