Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
