what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
