My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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