just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
