Where is the hickey?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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