Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
