it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
