he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
