suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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