There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
