Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he shaved USA in his pubs
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
