I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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