If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
