I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
