Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
