Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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