you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Couch. On fire.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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