There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
