I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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