On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She even gives head with a lisp.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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