i think i have herpe
just one?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize