i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Your dad touched me again.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
