so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
