just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
