I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
