You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
